Wonder

Where does the feeling of belonging come from?

I like to think about this, think about whether this mystery can be understood. It's especially fine to luxuriate in the afterglow of finding that kind of connection.

I'm not just interested in where it comes from or what triggers it, but whether I can learn to build this deep appreciation or recognition into my life? Or is that an ugly kind of self-deception?

You might ask why I have "Wonder" as the title of this thing. Good question. I can't say. Part of me is aware that when I feel that I'm part of something, that I belong, there's a sensation that's like the opening that happens in wonder. A parallel emotion, I guess.

On Friday, Proust crept up again and waylaid me with tacos.

It is known among a few of you how lucky I've been in my food life. Solid cooks in my family using pure and fresh ingredients. Chomping on the madeline is never far from my experience. The real shock for me is that it is rarely those foods that I grew up with. More often, it's either Indian food or Mexican food that sets off a body memory that's full, fast and overwhelming. Those foods that I think of when I think of a woman I've loved.

So it was with the Taco place here in Medford. In a rush, the sweet corn tortilla, the luscious seasoned pork took me to San Diego. Took me to my past, took me to hope and love, the ocean pounding out a blessing with every wave. I was happy that my friends didn't see me tear up for a moment. Reader, I fell in. The water was all around me and I didn't even have to swim.