Abundance

I have my diary, this blog, a fair number of emails and a limping story or two. Are my words increased by having multiple airstrips? Can I find more or truer thoughts this way? What if I run out of fuel?

Abundance has always been a myth for me. Another fairy story brought on by the misplaced enthusiasm of an accident of birth. Or an accident of positive thinking. My thinking was more along the line of "everyone has a limited number of breaths or heartbeats." Everyone has a limited number of words. Hoard those precious words, your precious breath, you don't have many boy-o. Abundant words, a delusion. Wring some life out of the little you've got.

My belief about abundance has been changing. Perhaps I'm captive to a childish wish of my own power. I don't think so. I think that with careful preparation, there will be abundant words, plenty of flights. How I found this conclusion is complex. But simply put, I decided to trust that I would do what I needed to without applying force. That's part of the reason why I'm sitting here writing tonight: a patience about what is possible. That, and a little faith that there will be enough words to keep me aloft.