You'll Never Guess

Costco serves as a gathering place for us displaced folks in Medford. Today while waiting for my prescription, I had the chance to talk with two nice old Sicilian coots, Art and Emile. "Coots" I hope you hear as an endearment, these were two nice guys. Brooklyn. No Good Pizza Here. No Good Bread. Bagels? Forgetaboutit.

After I passed muster, Art began a routine that he'd been doing with Emile for at least a decade: guess what Emile used to do for a living. "You'll never guess in a hundred tries. Go head. You never guess. You don't want to take that bet."

The big cliche popped right into my head and I figured that they'd have a laugh and I'd make guess #2. Emile, despite his French-sounding name, seemed more laborer than something high-falutin. "New York City Ballet. He was a dancer."

I thought they went into another routine: "Jesus Christ I can't believe you guessed. No one's ever guessed before! That's incredible." I let them ramble on with this sarcasm for thirty seconds and then I said Okay. Let me guess again. "No no no. You guessed it. You got it right. Emile made ballet slippers for Capezio all of his life! Jesus Christ, nobody ever guessed before and you got it right the first time!"

Turned out Emile had worked with three generations of Capezios; taught the later generations how to make a good slipper.

They really couldn't stop sputtering. "This one got it right off. That has never happened before. No one's ever guessed right before." Minutes later we laughed our goodbyes and they disappeared into the large, value-sized afternoon.