Hard Wind

Funny day today. Some real disappointment was running through me.

One question ate at me more than others though: what am I doing with my gift of consciousness? I wrote a dear relation a tiny note about this. He's an inspiration who has spent a lifetime pushing to give himself to his world.

There, I just said it plainly enough: how do I give myself to my world?

Okay. I know that to ask such a high-flautin question means I'll arrive at no good conclusion. Something I saw this morning lodged inside me and have been with me all day. It seems related to questions of how I expend my self.

During the a.m. portion of my funk, I decided that a decent cup of coffee was in order. There along my route was the ubiquitous leaf-blower man. He was using his leaf blower as the stiff wind surfed off the lake. Senseless.

I'm not making fun of him. I am him.

Autumn is coming in and the sun will exit more quickly each day. The clouds will soon dominate our view. Rain will become our currency. On many days, the falling leaves will need attention. I want to be able to tell the difference between the days and the leaves that have fallen. It doesn't sound tricky when you say it like that.