Boredom

Boredom is my new thing.

I can't explain it yet but that's never stopped me before. It looks like boredom but it's more about the absence of stimulus, high or low. Not calm, which I am quite often, but impartial like a good judge. Weigh the evidence against the standards and make a ruling. (Dang you metaphors! Why don't you come to my assistance!?) Most of me thinks that this stall is part of the process of learning about myself. It's learning non-reaction to events that induce jitters.

For example, fires would pop up in my business life, as they do. Occasionally, a supernaturally detached gray-hair, with his mop burning brightly, would react by saying, "So, let's discuss our next step." Mine was to stop, drop and roll on his ashy head. I didn't appreciate that it was a metaphor! His head wasn't burning! Nor does mine.

So maybe by "boredom," I'm saying that I no longer think that lighting my head on fire is being alive. It makes some sense then that I'd have to come up with a name for the absense of daily drama.

Boredom is a fit term but not neutral enough. "Detachment" is to zenny for me.

It's more like I'm in the middle of a large lake. There's little wind, few waves, my boat doesn't need anchor. That sounds pretty peaceful but it still seems more like a pause to me.