Crackpot

"Theories" or "schemes" always follows "crackpot."

I'm more of a hair-brained scheme kinda guy but I do indulge in a crackpot theory now and then.

The current one is that my landlord sneaks into my apartment and uses my mouthrinse.

I've been using this minty liquid blowtorch for a while to see if it made any difference in my oral hygiene life. Probably not but it is fun to imagine a million tiny Robert Duvalls on my tongue making napalm comments.

If Tom is sneaking in and using my mouthwash, I have accepted it. My initial reaction was a sense of displacement that I'd uncovered such a paltry little secret. I've grown used to the idea now and wish him good oral health. Who am I to begrudge him an illicit minty pleasure?